Monday, June 29, 2015

THE BIBLE

‎New American Standard looking clean and pissable. 

-Peter

Sunday, June 28, 2015

A doorstop I can get behind.

‎Seriously. 

-Peter

Friday, June 12, 2015

Violent Night in the Gardens

‎Ivan and I walked the dog last night at about 1AM. Fortunately, the killer was on a leash. We almost cornered a skunk. 

But the wierdest was when a coyote ran up on us, saw us, and dropped half of a cat.

Yes, the pic is gross, but come on, it could be grosser. Its actually kind of amazing that the thing was in half like this. No spinal cord, no viscera, just half of a house cat.

Plus, everyone I say "half of a cat" to doesn't get it. 

It was a violent night in the Gardens. 

Earlier, there was a gopher that screwed up and tried to make a run for it while Kuma was digging. I brained him with my flashlight and let Kuma suck and chomp on his popeyed, mangled body. Ivan called the killer off, and I looked at the mess. I couldn't tell initially if it had been a mouse or a gopher, they scream the same. I lifted my boot and lowered it on him.

There was a triumphant moment when I had his head under my boot and I could have squitched his stupid skull with a light crunch. He deserved it. I am sure that little motherfucker took a bite out of one of these dead rosebushes my wife cries over. However, I chose a more morbid satisfaction.

I picked him up by ‎the tail. He was broken, bleeding and drenched in dog slobber. His eyeballs were both blown out of his skull. His ignorant mouth hung open, choked with his blood, that stained the groove between those vicious choppers. I watched him weakly suffer for his last seconds of life, then die. I disrespected him by dropping his foul, useless body in the trash. 

Like I said, it was a violent night up here in the Gardens. 

-Peter

BBQ ON BLOCKS

‎"Soooo Ghetto." mused Ivan. 

-Peter