Tuesday, October 13, 2015

That Dark Woman pt. 2

I picked up my 14 year old from school today and discussed story ideas. She writes, I write and we discuss plot points and developments. She comes from a much more anime orientation to this world, I dunno, I come from a post-Xtian, heavy-metal horror orientation. She shopped a few ideas. Some didn't work, but some did.  The main point is the one that I am developing below and I credit her with a hard assist.

So this David guy...

I want him to hyperbolize the way his heart was ripped out and destroyed by his ex. I weant this thought pattern to be locked in, and vivid, because at the end, that is what I want Marlenai to do to him for real.  My issue is still the notion that Marlenai is a maneater. My daughter suggested that the form of Marlenai be that of some sort of god or demon and that the finality of the final reveal will be that it is more than a woman with tentacles and claws and tubing (there is a draft that you haven't seen yet, dear reader). So tonight, I am blessed to be working with this guy who it is better to just not talk to, so I am on the job. I have to find a succubus or something that is in mainstream religious thought and use her to get this story going. I can reveal her identity as an aside in the earlier parts of the story and then it will seem less and less of a jump when I finally get to paint the walls with David's entrails.

Because the truth of the matter is this: I have a vision on how to dispatch someone. I explained to my daughter the concept of "kinesis" and how I like to write kinetically when I am applying violence.

I have to somehow make David a protagonist that you don't mind following around, but compromised that you don't feel abused by the author when he gets taken apart.  So my game is the hoodwink and the bait and switch. But I will have priming references all throughout the text so there will be no totaly surprise when it goes down. This is going to take some research. Or do i want to just create my own monster and legend?  I actually just thought of the concept of a "succubus" when i sat down here to type. I just took a walk here at work and was considering Kali one more time. But to use her, I think that i would like to be a lot more familiar with her mythology. I don't think that I am up to bending reality enough to pull that one off.

All I need is someone that is more powerful than a man. A concept of such, and then i will bend it. But understand that if i am delving into some sort of religious iconography, I want to stick the landing properly. This means that i would have to comprehend said religion. Trust me when I say that I absolutely HATE texts and films that draw in just a bit of the Xtian imagery but then fumble and proceed to offend everyone in this process. THE SEVENTH SIGN starring Demi Moore was my first serious introduction to such a rage. It has continued. WARLOCK was another. I mean seriously, Satan has someone over him call the all-powerful Anti-God? Is you kidding me? That doens't hit the note that needs to be hit. That is a workaround. Ray Garton wrote WARLOCK the book and I saw it on my shelf earlier this afternoon, maybe it is time to finally finish that thing (I put a pin in it in the last century).

I am thinking succubus, but I don't want to make this a battle of the sexes. I don't want to make women look bad. I am not here on the misogyny tip. I just want to shred David. So i have to make him ugly.

I am also gonna make it that she can indeed read his mind. I also like the idea that she will be quoting his thought patterns back to him as she kills him. This gives her leverage.

Geez, I am torn. If she can really hear his thoughts, then there is no reason to really go further with a spiritual explanation of her. The reason why is that he will be incriminated by his thoughts. I sure would like to have a stronger explanation to the reader though. I don't want to just close it. I have seen suchg a closure in a short story in the past, and if it is frenetic enough, it works.

In fact, I won't completely dispatch David. In fact, i think that the last paragraph should be David wrestling with this concept of a woman. Wondering how she knows. Wondering where the claws and tubing are coming from (trust me, you'll get that stuff soon enough).

Ok. I have gathered my thoughts enough to go to it. I will post what i have completed in my 3rd entry in this series. I should be pretty tight by then. I just have till Friday, and then i am going to be off onto another short story.

I'll get back with you.