Thursday, April 12, 2007

SPRING BREAK PICS 4

This is a cheap shot. Poppa sneaking up on two kids on a computer and snapping their pic, then putting it online. Oh well, I guess I am just that, a cheap bastid. It is cheap, and when Yzzy sees this, she will be pissed (again).


Here is Ivan with his three ducks from his classroom. They have been staying at various houses over spring break. These past few days have been our turn. Messy little creatures that shit all over the place, but cute in a vulgar sort of cartoonish way.


Here they are in the box that they sleep in at night. I got up at 7:30 this morning to find them jumping out of this thing. They just pulled the same move about a half an hour ago. Cute, odd-smelling, baby ducks with incredible amounts of shit in they pipes.


Yzzy is demonstrating the fact that she has ridden this ride about 300X in the past week or two. The strange girl originally asked to sit by me, but Yzzy stepped up and took the bullet like a good soldier. There is no way to look at this but as a Demmon double-tag. Yzzy owns the camera at 60mph, and I swoop the pic with the cellphone.




Here they are in the lineup. Nothin special. But then again, everything is special. The place was packed BTW. Wall to wall people. What I noticed most were stressed out couples, whether they had kids or not. I don't think it has to be that way.



SPRING BREAK PICS 3

Scooter Tag.
It works like this: The person on the scooter is it. Stay out of their way. Thing is, you kind of want to be it, so you can ride the scooter. It makes for a new twist in an old game. No helmets, no blood. I even grabbed a neighbor kid and got him in the mix. He came with a scooter, so it was 2 on 2. By that time, I was completely winded. I played this so much that my calf eventually sproinged and I had to gangster-limp for a few days.



I like Target and all, but what the hell is this? Is it a fertility halo? Do you hold this over her head? Do you hold it over his head? How many are you gonna have? I need instructions plzthx. Whatever the case, it is an obscene celebration of juevos in an aisle of Target that doesn't exist anymore.



Dave was the grillman. Those are Casson's and Uncle Bob's feet. I put the hurt on that tri-tip.



Uncle Bob is off camera to the left; that is his leg supported by his hands. Casson, Anna and Dave the grillman in the background. I pretty much held this spot down as long as I could. You will be able to tell by the next pic.



Total cast change, same spot. Aunt Shirley, Veronica and Anna again. Uncle Bob and Dave the grillman are in the background blowing up the spot.



Tuesday, April 10, 2007

Ferdie getting hit on



Ferdinand is for sale. Lotsa tire-kickers...and the following email:

i have a 1962 vw bug named herbie he got very exicted about Ferdinand he would like to meet her 4 a date

I have no idea wtf this means. Should I respond? Who says that Ferdie is on the market for a relationship with a dork named Herbie? I'll bet that momma's bug has the 53 sticker on the side too. Trying to live off of his celebrity of yesteryear. There is also this other fact that all reading this post and beyond need to realize, internalize and accept.

Peter Demmon > Dean Jones

Ferdinand is middle-aged and doesn't want some dirty old, burnt out ex-Disney loser drooling over her. Ferdie has class.

Plus, if she were into the little Herbie? He couldn't handle all of the woman that Ferdie is. She would tear his little ass APART.

Monday, April 09, 2007

FOK JOO GOW2



You know I have been hyped about this game. I have been. I was hyped before it dropped. I blogged about it here and at 1up. HYPED. I barely have gas money these days, but I hustled my $50 to get my hands on this thing and PUT IT DOWN. I have been putting it down for weeks. It is one of the best video game experiences of my life, but believe me, I am at a point where I am totally pissed off with this thing.

God of War stars Kratos, the Spartan warrior who beat the hell out of Ares and assumed the position of "God of War" on Mount Olympus. His story continues in part 2 as the gods conspire against him.

On a side note: what is up with our current fixation on Spartans? I just finished watching my online rip of 300 and I am trying to figure out the theme here. Spartans were badasses. They liked a good fight and they are legendary in how they managed to beat their opponents down. Are we as a country slapping our own back as a war machine? Are we transposing the Spartan lore upon our own compromised American state? Are we through the guise of pop-culture, pumping ourselves up for this battle that we fight that we cannot possibly win? Just a thought.

God of War 2 has come full circle for me in regards to my obsession with mythology as a kid. The story works. Kratos (the anti-protagonist)ultimately becomes more of an asshole than Ares, the God of War that he killed ever was. Zeus steps up and tricks Kratos into giving up his go-powers. As he falls into Hades, the Titans step up and show Kratos how to get his god-powers back. Kratos has to slash his way out of hell and continue slashing until he has an audience with the Fates. Kratos then bends time to get back to Zeus at the moment of all the trickery in the first place. And there is more. I was wondering what his drive to take Zeus down was all about and they explain that stuff too. The re-imaging of the Fates and the Titans is superior. The game has the feel of a story that could have been told around some Greek campfire 3,000 years ago. It is epic and it is over the top, and there are moral lessons to be learned embedded throughout.

What I dig about it is that there is actually a story. The story is deep. I can't count off how many games I have played where there is a lackluster storyline which is just there to carry whatever gaming engine there is. I can't tell you how many ambiguous storylines I have played through, where the lines between speculation and fact are so great that you can fill the blank with whatever perversity or strange desire or jibberish you want, because the blank is that big.

There is even a cliffhanger at the end of the game that says: GET YOUR ASS A PS3 BECAUSE THIS IS GOING TO BE EVEN MORE FUN.

GOW 2 serves it up better than I though that it would be served. It was a 12 hour test of skill and I enjoyed every drop of it. Till now.

Playing through the story-mode is work. I was killed more times than would be considered "good" for someone who plays games as much as I do. GOW2 sets you up though. There are many times when you are doing what seems to be "correct", and all of a sudden "YOU ARE DEAD" is what the screen chokes at you, in a blurry, bloody scrawl. I dug on that stuff. The story-mode had lots of puzzles to work through, and lots of absolute beat-down brawls to fight through. Beating it was a serious accomplishment.

However this last Saturday, I just about broke that disc in pure frustration. I flipped the screen off multiple times and let a torrent of profanity spatter the walls around me. I was pissed. I am still pissed. I am pissed and I know I am not done, I am going to have to block out some time and KICK THIS GAME'S ASS.

What I am talking about is the Challenge of the Titans mode. Yeah yeah, there are all of these gamers out there that are knocking the stuff out and saying that it is easy, and they can all read my middle finger. The stuff is hard as fok and it is unfair. The odds are so ridiculously stacked against you that you will lose...for hours on end. All strategies will eventually fail, until you find the one key method for laying out an absolute beatdown for all the characters onscreen that plague you so. Once you find the method/pattern, then the ass-whupping that they administer to you is palatable, because you know you will eventually win. What happens when you see no light at the end of the tunnel though?

**Below is a bunch of gamer talk, if you don't know gamer talk, scroll down to the next set of asterisks**

I am talking about the challenge called "Protect the weak." First off, you have to hit the L1+R1 to get the time-slowdown. This is not an easy feat in the heat of battle. I don't know how many times Kratos has assumed a block stance when time should be moving slow. Because of this, you take extra hits at points. Yeah, someone is going to step up and say, "I get it every time and there never has been a problem for me." Well good for you sporto, but in my case, it isn't a 100% deal. I know how to hit buttons on the synchronized tip too, I am not some scrub here. This whole situation is bad gaming mechanics.

So I have to protect this praying guy in a circle while wave after wave of abuse comes my (and his) way. If that isn't enough, the circle that prayer-dude is in moves and I have to transport him to a different spot on the board. If he stays outside of the circle, he loses health. Furthermore, sometimes, you are kicking MAD ASS and he takes collateral damage. I can't count how many times I have seen him bounce because I have thrown an enemy in his vicinity.

The cussing started when I was sure that I was almost done with this challenge. I had moved him to his 4th different spot, I was low on all magic and I had no Rage of the Gods meter. Then another wave of motherfuckers dropped in on me. It was a sick wave too. I am sure that it was the last wave, but I had nothing and my little worshipper buddy had nothing too.

Of course, I am going to have to tune my game up in order to beat this thing. But that is not all, I have to hit Titan ranking on this sucker. That means that little worshipper guy is going to have to take less than 50% damage. I have watched the training videos on this site and I have seen it done, but it doesn't seem to be that easy for me.

Maybe it is the fact that when I play GOW2, it is a gorge session because I don't know how long the famine will be. I can't sit down and put in 2-3 hours every night. I have a life. so I am at it 2-3 times a week TOPS.

FOK JOO GOW2. The mettle that is required of me to open up the arena of the Fates (Titan ranking on just about all challenges) is OBNOXIOUS. And if I make it, the reward isn't worth it.

I will load up and read all the strats I can find, but the bottom line is that I am probably not going to finish this one. It took me a serious month away from GOW1 before I was ready to go in and get my ass served to me in the challenge stages there. I actually took 8 hours of a Saturday to do it. That gorgon stage kicked my ass more times that I care to admit. However, now, I can play those challenges straight through. The gorgon stage is actually a stage that I look forward to. This one? The challenge stages are so fokking unfair that I just don't know if I am going to continue.

**post gamer talk***
Sometimes you have to slash your losses and move on. This might be one of those situations. I enjoy playing video games. I enjoy a good challenge. I feel that this is a situation where I as an average video game player am getting abused.

Will I finish this last challenge in front of me? I suppose the gaping, loosed floodgates of profanity you may have heard from a top of a hill in Santa Cruz last Saturday dictate that I probably won't.

Perhaps I am getting too old for this stuff.

Friday, April 06, 2007

SPRING BREAK pics 2

This was no pose. I just shot it. It sure looks posed though. That fridge has been getting as lot of work. I lost my BATES MOTEL shotglass in the process. Probably a good thing. After a few shots out of a Bates Motel shotglass, anything can happen, anyone can die and anyone can sound like your mother.

I just took this one too. It looks like a pose though. The Space Race is cool. We plow into each other...HARD. There was this hefty guy in there who was plowing into people (including myself) and forcing them to catch air. There is some sort of pysics explanation about all of that weight in motion on a horizontal level bringing some finesse to impact, but I just can't work my brain around it right now. Something like this:
A) I weight 180 lbs. I am in a 200 lb vehicle and I am moving at 7 mph.

B) Hefty guy weighs close to 300 lbs. He is in a 200 lb vehicle moving at 7 mph.

A= How the hell does his impact mean more? Because it takes more energy to stop his onslaught of bulk?


A collection of Boardwalk day passes. I think I have 8 now.
Casson has a cheap shot about these passes. I forget how he put it. I'll let him figure it out.


There is something about that Moss Landing power plant that will always pull at me. Perhaps it is the melancholy. Perhaps I have driven by that thing when my heart has been wrent too many times. I dunno. This evening though, in the darkness with the babies, it wasn't so bad.

SPRING BREAK pics part 1

COOKIE BATTER


K DA F O

DAY 4 ON THE DAILY BIG DIPPER GRIND


While waiting for corndogs and garlic fries, I saw an even greater sin: deepfried cheescake in a tortilla.



The word for today was "smoked." As in, "I got smoked on the log ride." So when I was waiting for some substandard grub, I saw this sign. The rest of the turkey got smoked, but they are selling his leg.

Monday, April 02, 2007

Transformers

Its gonna be wack as hell, but these are some cool pix.



Sunday, April 01, 2007

Random Pics

Camera Shots to show the flavor of the spring around here.




More years ago than I care to count, I fasted for 5 days at about this spot. Of course I would go home at the end of the day, but my days were spent here looking for enlightenment. I must have misread whatever I got. It is still a beautiful sand dune though.





Yzzy, Ivan and I have been playing blackjack pretty hardcore of late. The mood was accentuated a bit when the power was out last week. Now all I need to do is get those kids drinking whiskey and smoking cigars and it will be guy's night out...with minors.





I took this shot at about noon today. The Boardwalk was hopping. This pic doesn't capture it too well, but it was just about summer status before we left. There were people everywhere. We even ran into David Mack at the Giant Dipper. David Mack is one of those guys that I run into no matter where I go. The upshot? He and I were both trying to become cops and I think both he and I are in better spaces in life that we wouldn't have achieved had we joined the pork corps.




I have 5 Boardwalk passes on my wrist. Spring break is going to call for 3 more this week. Yzzy and Ivan left me to ride the Double-Shot on my own yesterday. However, we all rode the Giant Dipper and the Hurricane multiple times. The week I plan on even more of this trash. My wrist makes me look like I have escaped from a hospital.