Wednesday, November 29, 2006

LOVE GUN and MS. VLEERICK

Back in Downey California, I had Ms. Vleerick. She was this thin woman with glasses. The only reason why I mention her name is because I was recently in a conversation about what an absolutely sucky ban KISS was. I mean, KISS SUCKED. But as a kid, I wanted to understand these made up freaks. Dad wouldn't allow KISS records in the house. Once I even got one for my birthday, and he took me to the LICORICE PIZZA record store to find out how much Rock and Roll Over was worth. He bought it from me on the spot.

Anyways, I was having this conversation about KISS and I remember that Ms. Vleerick allowed Jeff Lopez to hang his KISS poster on the wall. She wouldn't allow the Farrah Fawcett poster, but we all thought we were getting over with the LOVE GUN poster. She made us fold the women up at the bottom so all you could see were the members of KISS.

KISS sucked then, and they still suck now. A friend of mine told me that Peter Criss is the worst drummer in the biggest band or some such trash. Then he said that Gene Simmons is the Peter Criss of bass. OH GOD DID THEY SUCK! But they were onto something. I remember seeing "KISS" tagged everywhere. It was the coolest thing. There were comic books. There were t-shirts. The stuff was on fire. I'll bet those charlatans made a billion dollars back then. Remember that damn movie "KISS AND THE RETURN OF THE PHANTOM"? I think that was the title. That movie sucked too.

Ms. Vleerick almost failed me in 4th grade. I had to go back to her in summerschool and make up whatever it was that I didn't get during the school year. I can't remember a thing that woman taught me. That woman was vicious. I do remember that KISS poster she allowed though. Here it is below, in all of its uncensored glory.