Tuesday, June 13, 2006

REDEMPTION STORY

This site has gotten a tad SPED with the uploading of pictures option. I'll have to do that part later.
*UPLOAD FERRET PIC*
*UPLOAD RAT PIC*

I have an old college buddy. His name is Ian. Ian is working on breaking into the movies. You saw him take a round to the chest in THE HISTORY OF VIOLENCE. How did he f*ck that up? I'll never know.

Ian is a good guy.

Ian hit me up a few months ago to give him a treatment for a short film. I had to think for a bit. At the time, I was out of the office on pretty much a daily basis, with a film crew, filming these kids taking the tests that we generate at work. I was in a position where I could jot down some notes and troubleshoot them a bit. So I did.

I came up with an idea for a treatment.

It goes like this:

There is this guy who has just bought a pet. For the purpose of the short film, I was thinking it could be a rat. I was also thinking "rat" because I had just hooked it up with the Fontina. So this guy is playing with the rat, while driving and he smokes into someone's pet dog. The hitting of the dog has to be explosively violent. Violent and painful. Over the top. This is what inspires it:

Years ago, I was driving my old Mini down the road. A dog was running alongside me. On the passenger side. I swerved at the dog to get rid of it. It veered away and then ran straight for my front passenger tire. I guess it thought I was an actual animal rather than a vehicle. It also thought it could take me down by biting my front tire. There was an impact. I went up on the dog and he got pinned under my wheel and sort of into my wheelwell. I could hear it whimpering through the floorboards. My engine died on the dog and so did my brakes. I slid to a crooked stop, using that dog as my brake. When I finally was parked, I refired the engine and backed up off the mutt. One side of the dog was completely bald. The way that dog took off, I am sure that I sheared one of its legs off in my stopping process. I got out of the car and watched it run. Then I looked across the street and I saw a family standing out on their porch. It clicked in my head that this was their dog. They had just seen me work their family mutt OVER. I voiced a, "I'm sorry about your dog." to them.

"Don't worry about it, he does that all the time." the matron said. I got back behind my wheel and got the hell out of there. That dog wasn't long for this earth.

Back to the treatment:

I am thinking about that level of violence. Guy plays with rat, hits dog. Destroys dog on the spot, and looks over and sees the family. There should be a slo-mo of the shock on all of the people's faces. Then rather than voicing his apology, he gets the hell out of there.

But later that evening he is wracked with guilt. And this could be done in a montage fashion. All of the different things he does. Like sneaking over to their house in the evening and tending the dog's grave in the backyard. Dropping a "My Condolences" card through the mail slot. All of these different things to assuage his guilt. All the while he is training the pet rat and breaking it in.

I think that this whole "doing good deeds" thing should go on incessantly. painfully long. I think that they might even catch this guy tending the grave in the backyard, and there should be some sort of spastic "jumping the fence" scene.

In the end, the guy should be at the park, with his fully trained rat. maybe he has it on a leash. maybe it should be a ferret if it is on a leash. I dunno. Here is the point though. He is at the park doing his thing and this kid comes up and sees him doing his thing. This kid is fascinated with the rat/ferret. The guy looks into the kid's face and then he realizes that it is the kid who lives at the house where he smoked the dog. The guy gives the ferret to the kid. Then he follows the kid at a distance, maybe in his car. The last scene could be the family through the kitchen window, gathered around the rat/ferret at the dinner table, all smiles. It could pan back into the car where the guy is watching them from the street. he gets a smug look on his face and drives off.

REDEMPTION SQUARED.

It seems like an idea that could work in film. I just don't see it working in text...but hey, I think I am going to give it a shot...and you read it here FIRST.

Oh, BTW, Ian wasn't really interested in this one after all. That is too bad, I think that this one has a little bit of potential.