Thursday, June 08, 2006

Back from the dead with snapshots to and from Hell


NOTE: Steve Bawls is Pandemic. I didn't make this sign. Nor did I put it in my van that is slated to go in for repairs. Nor did I take the picture of the sign. Nor did I email a grip of heads and let everyone in on the joke know what is up. This stuff is moving, and it is moving out of my control and I LIKE IT.



I have been scarce of late. I have been clawing and shredding my way through this corporate maze that I have been in for almost three years now. The thing is that I feel that I am coming out on top. It has taken its toll though. As I posted before, I was in Missouri last month. Last week I was in Oklahoma. Oklahoma city to be precise. I was in a dirty-ass hotel room with someone else's hair on the shower walls.

This isn't going to be some sort of poingniant post...this is going to be the ramblings of a man who is completely exhausted and whose body has begun to consume his brain for nourishment.

Flight snapshots:
#1.
My steward seemed like a cool guy. His head was shaved, he had some jewelry on. I was going out of my way to assume that the man is straight. I didn't want to fall for that old "a gay flight steward from Canada brought us the entire AIDS epidemic" stereotype. He even did this funny "powering down" robotic death move when the person announcing what to do with the falling airbag flubbed her lines. However, when I was in the line to get into the bathroom, I was listening to him talk to a stewardress about his friends. He was talking about how much fun he had travelling and all of this other trash. He shot me a coy look as he turned his phone on to access to access some pictures. We were three miles up, mind you, and I couldn't turn my damn phone on. So he showed her the pictures. Being that I am the nosey assed blogging bastid that I am, I took a "shift foot positions to crane neck" move and saw what he was showing her.
STEREOTYPE AVERSION BLOWN: it was a pic of some naked guy reclining on some leopard blanket.

#2.
I watched SIN CITY on my laptop for my 8AM flight. Great movie. Beats the hell out of X3. X3 pissed me off. There is a blog in the fuselage about that cinematic fecal smear, trust me. But watching Sin City in the morning is sort of like drinking a scotch before noon. The people to the left and to my right were fascinated and repulsed at the same time. When I watch that flick, I always do it like this: I watch the Long Goodbye first. MARV/ROARKE owns the screen, and that stuff gets the blood swishing through the arteries. Then I fill it out with the Bruce Willis adventure. Bruce Willis is alright in my book, even if he does get an ugly honorable mention in that "How to Make Love Like a Porn Star" book. Then I round it out with the Benicio del Toro/Clive Owen exploding head passage.

Whatever the case, watching Junior's nuts get pulled and Bruce Willis pound his head into the floorboards was a little much for the people around me. I could feel them shifting in their seats as the discomfort washed over them. It made me wonder what line I was crossing. I had the sound running through headphones and I had subtitles on. They didn't have to look at the screen, just as I didn't have to look over and see that one was working on a presentation on some sort of bean sprout and that the other was reading the New Testament. Was I wrong for watching the unrated version of Sin City at 8 in the morning in the full view of strangers? I dunno.
I remember being a kid and driving with the family right by drive-in theatres and looking up hoping to see something R-rated as we passed. I think that this laptop thing was akin to that, only I was on a plane and these people were of age and had no choice...yeah.

#3.
Flight home? I was watching SCARFACE. If you know me, then you know how I feel about this film, mang.
The woman next to me was older. I would say that she was pushing 60. She travels a lot. She liked to talk. I liked her out of the gate. She had that old-school chutzpah that I dig. She peppered her conversation with classy profanity. Thing was, I needed a lull in converstation to load up the Scarface. Well, she fitted me with a lull and get to it. Then I noticed during the REBENGA hit that she was watching over my shoulder, rather intently. I pulled my headphones and asked her if she liked the movie. She told me that it was one of her favorites. That she had Scarface and the complete Godfather collection on DVD. Then she asked me if I was into the Sopranos. Then she mentioned dePalma's camera angles in Scarface, and I knew that I REALLY LIKED THIS WOMAN.
I put on the subtitles and we watched the chainsaw scene. She mentioned the way the panning from the bathroom window to Manny with his finger on the hip of some flooze back to the bathroom was one of her favorites. I scrolled back to the scene that I dig where Tony and Manny are on break at the restaurant and that guy strolls past the window with the Grand Theft Auto strut in the background.
If I was to sum up my flight from OK to Denver, I would have to say that I was really happy that I got to sit next to Rita. I Actually wished that I was going to SF with her rather than to San Ho. I would have loved to experience the final shootout with that woman. Good Times.

#4.
Flight from Denver to OK at the beginning of the week was loaded up with these extremely well-dressed young men. I sat in front of two of them. They had someone "not of their tribe" sandwiched between them. Turns out that these kids were all Mormons, and that this was a proselytizing tour. I listened to that poor civilian bat back the logic of Joseph Smith and his Moronic angel for quite some time. I wanted to turn in my chair and ask my questions about the Mormon on the FBI most wanted list and the adjustments to the book of Mormon over the past thirty years. I wanted to paste one of these kids in the face and ask him why because my skin is darker that I wear the mark of Cain. I wanted to get online and pull up all of that trash that used to piss me off to the highest of pisstivity. Instead, I put on the MP3 player and worked my way through my Slayer collection and ultimately embraced a jagged state of oblivion.

Alright.
I'll have something more coherent up in here in the next few days, I promise.