Monday, May 15, 2006


Newer update: Circa last night.
I'll cut and paste this morning's email trail. You will be able to connect the dots. I am on the clock right now so I can't add too many bells and whistles. Just the facts, mang.

The Salinas Van is in the shop AGAIN because the retarded guy at LOVE CHEVROLET
who put in our fuel pump bent some tube in our gas tank when he re-installed it (for $900). Don't even get me started on the fact that you need to DROP THE FAKKING GAS TANK in order to get at the fuel pump. Back in the day, I would do that stuff on my Chevy 1-ton work truck with one hand and a pair of pliers.

So we were given a backup van. I loaded everyone up and the BATTERY WAS DEAD.

Here is the email trail:

Santa Cruz Vanpool,

Thanks all kinds for being patient with us and jumpstarting us out of the lot yesterday afternoon. Frustration was high and so was disappointment. I know that it cramped your schedules to do this and I really appreciate it. I hope that someday in the future the Salinas Vanpool will be able to return the favor somehow. Perhaps I am making a big deal out of nothing, but it really warmed my blackened heart to know that we were all working together to get home.

Peter Demmon
Salinas Vanpool Driver

Jason, could you forward our thanks to your other riders please? I really appreciate the fact that they were patient with us in our time of need.

Here is the wicked response from Jason. Steve Bawls is becoming more and more of a reality, as this thing was copied to Mount Olympus itself.

I can't speak for the rest of the Santa Cruz vanpool, but I was just glad that Steve Bawls didn't show up and forcibly displace us Santa Cruz folks and tear off in our van with cries of "Long live Salinas!!!"

In all seriousness, I was just glad that we could help. As far as the delay, with a little help from my lead foot we managed to get home on time - all is well that ends well. I'll send your message on to the other SC riders.

I'll touch this blog up later when I get a minute.

the legend of Steve Bawls continues on.
If you have no idea what I am talking about, then read the blog entitled "The birth of an existential badass or How to get to work and kick ass at the same time".

For the record, Annie is the sh*t.

Check out the email that I got the other day:


I am writing to express my deep concern over your email regarding Steve Bawls. As his direct report, I feel it my duty to confront your defaming email regarding my much beloved employee. In the months I have worked with Steve, he has been only an angel. He brings me my coffee in the morning, promptly completes his work, always wears a smile, is always quick to help. Steve is the ideal [certain place] employee, showing copious evidence for his drive for results, his habit of leading by example, of delighting the customer, and showing expert knowledge and skill in everything he does. For example, we had a deliverable due with a two-day turnaround, a deliverable that meant a $12 million contract. Steve worked through the night for the entire 48-hour period to get the job done. He then showed up the next morning, cheery and ready for the next project. Given this information, you must be horrified by your own mean-spirited email. Steve Bawls has balls - and a sweet, kind,hard-working heart to boot. As for your alleged mishaps with Mr. Bawls, I suggest you troubleshoot your own brain to make sure that you have not fabricated these events in a delusion brought on by extreme jealousy. Really, I think you have Bawls Envy. I hope that this conflict does not require formal intervention. Sincerely,

Sweeney McMurphy
Steve Bawls' Manager

We are going to start pressing Steve Bawls fliers later this week.

It is ON.